His space, her space, who's space? MY SPACE
Ok, so weird thing happened yesterday… the internet was down. Actually its been down for a good three days and I didn’t know what the hell was going on. Anyway Krystal with her awesome Japanese, called the Yahoo BB people and tried to figure out what was wrong. It turns out that nothing was wrong and I did have a connection. The thing was that the Norton’s Anti-virus program I was running was so strong that it blocked all web sites. Crazy huh?
Ok back to real stuff. I was at school and in between classes I got really interested in finding and recognizing friends off My Space. I was replying to someone who wanted me as a friend when I recognized someone from intermediate school. Weird! I haven’t seen or talked to that person in over 10 years and here was their picture. So I go to her page and look at her friend’s and then it was all over. I got hooked. I was looking up weird people, people I recognized, names that I thought were familiar, and etc. I got so addicted that as soon as I went home (after the internet was fixed) I went on My Space to find more people… and I did.
The depressing thing about it is that all the people or groups I used to hang out with, are still together. I saw the person I hung out with intermediate school, went to his friend list and saw basically everyone else. This actually happened each time I looked someone up. Then I started to get a little depressed and upset. Why are they still together and not me? I even saw the merging of two groups. (Actually “groups” sounds weird form now on it will be “cliques”.) Anyway I didn’t have the courage to send a message saying “hey its me, don’t you remember Chris, Chris Lee from Kalani or Niu Valley?” Well I did send some really vague messages to 2 people. But yeah why is it they stayed in touch and I haven’t?
For those who know me post High School, I wasn’t always the way I am now. Loud, obnoxious, friendly, and goofy were all traits I picked up after graduating high school. Almost as if in High school, I was fitted for only one type of “mold” (homework copied, picked on, never heard, outside member of a “clique”) but when you get to college all that goes out the window. I’ve made tons of new friends and I appreciate all of you who are “Chris” supporters, but something inside, a high school personality trait of being accepted, seem to be peaking out again. For instance I had a friend named Shaun in intermediate. We were good friend since we went to the same high school afterwards. When we got to high school we got accepted into a new clique. And after high school since I moved on I assumed so did he. But after My Space, I notice that he still hangs out with everyone. His page is covered with group pics at Ocean’s, D&B, and etc. People have moved on with their lives, beyond the beaches of Hawaii yet on My Space the connection between friendships are not severed. Why have mine?
Have I been the one to turn my back on everyone? Would everyone still be accepting if I were to try and re-kindle the friendships lost? Why is this bothering me so? I have made new friends and lasting memories but why does not being in a clique bother me so much? Am I already in a clique and don’t know it? Weird feeling this thing….I look at their blogs and pictures and think… I was a part of this clique, what happened?
breaking down... mentally
Ok back to real stuff. I was at school and in between classes I got really interested in finding and recognizing friends off My Space. I was replying to someone who wanted me as a friend when I recognized someone from intermediate school. Weird! I haven’t seen or talked to that person in over 10 years and here was their picture. So I go to her page and look at her friend’s and then it was all over. I got hooked. I was looking up weird people, people I recognized, names that I thought were familiar, and etc. I got so addicted that as soon as I went home (after the internet was fixed) I went on My Space to find more people… and I did.
The depressing thing about it is that all the people or groups I used to hang out with, are still together. I saw the person I hung out with intermediate school, went to his friend list and saw basically everyone else. This actually happened each time I looked someone up. Then I started to get a little depressed and upset. Why are they still together and not me? I even saw the merging of two groups. (Actually “groups” sounds weird form now on it will be “cliques”.) Anyway I didn’t have the courage to send a message saying “hey its me, don’t you remember Chris, Chris Lee from Kalani or Niu Valley?” Well I did send some really vague messages to 2 people. But yeah why is it they stayed in touch and I haven’t?
For those who know me post High School, I wasn’t always the way I am now. Loud, obnoxious, friendly, and goofy were all traits I picked up after graduating high school. Almost as if in High school, I was fitted for only one type of “mold” (homework copied, picked on, never heard, outside member of a “clique”) but when you get to college all that goes out the window. I’ve made tons of new friends and I appreciate all of you who are “Chris” supporters, but something inside, a high school personality trait of being accepted, seem to be peaking out again. For instance I had a friend named Shaun in intermediate. We were good friend since we went to the same high school afterwards. When we got to high school we got accepted into a new clique. And after high school since I moved on I assumed so did he. But after My Space, I notice that he still hangs out with everyone. His page is covered with group pics at Ocean’s, D&B, and etc. People have moved on with their lives, beyond the beaches of Hawaii yet on My Space the connection between friendships are not severed. Why have mine?
Have I been the one to turn my back on everyone? Would everyone still be accepting if I were to try and re-kindle the friendships lost? Why is this bothering me so? I have made new friends and lasting memories but why does not being in a clique bother me so much? Am I already in a clique and don’t know it? Weird feeling this thing….I look at their blogs and pictures and think… I was a part of this clique, what happened?
breaking down... mentally
posted by Chris at 8:03 PM
3 Comments:
I guess you're right but people who look back and take a "I'm laughing at how stupid you guys are " point of view, doens't that suggests some sort of hostility towards the group. Not saying that "that person" is you or I but cliques in high school that turn out to be cliques in the real world aren't bad are they? I guess I'm not upset that the cliques from high schools are still cliques but a group of friends that still hang out. Would Lisa, Krystal, you and I be considered a clique? But then we have so many substitues and honaray members, if we are a clique. You have Jacob, Cliff, Daniel, etc. During Circle K, we were a community service club, but without the community service are we a clique?
Gotcha... but I guess one could argue that she was in the club before us so when we came we took it over and she was granfathered in? Maybe she was never part of our clique... we can blame Lisa. Brany and Lisa are best of friends.
haha! this string of comments is hilarious!
anyways chris: you need not worry. who cares, really. just think of all the good things you might of missed out on if you still hung out with them. it's not always good. honestly, i haven't kept in touch with anyone from high school and it doesn't really bother me. maybe it will when reunion time comes around. but i wont worry about that now.
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